NAME THIS PIECE OF DEAD TECH?

Can you guess what this is? Prove to us how much of a Retro-Nerd you are. For an added bonus points tell us how much this piece of dead technology cost when it came to the United States and how much did it cost?

CHECK IT OUT: SIXTYFREE LITE-R

Here is the newest thing to infiltrate the video game hobby forums. It's called the Sixty Free Lite-R. Here are some pictures to show the size and the operation of the home brewed portable Nintendo 64. I will be on Ebay soon and if you want to impress some people for Christmas check it out. 

5 WTF MOMENTS IN VIDEO GAMING

Let's face it video games have never centered themselves around reality. If you've played any RPG where you have to travel through a forest you will most likely encounter about 30-40 fights with the local wildlife usually a killing a bunch of bears, goblins, other non-friendly woodland creatures. I understand that I'm on a quest for the greater good of humanity and If it wasn't for me and my rag-tag group of wizards and warriors no one would stop the dark wizard's plot to rule the world, but I just decimated the stability of the ecosystem of every forest I traveled through by killing everything that's on the top of the food chain. Who's really the bad guy in this situation when the kingdom will now be overrun by large rodents and other woodland pests? But this is a mild observation in comparison to the following WTF moments in video gaming. The list is in no particular order as the following observations will make you all go "WTF!" equally. Here's a list of the biggest WTF moments in Video Gaming.

OMFG WHO TRANSLATED CASTLE SHINKIGAMI 2?
Horrible mistranslations such as the infamous "All your base are belong to us" from the Sega Genesis game not only make us cringe at the horrible localization process but gave us a pretty awesome Internet meme. Castle Shinkigami 2 pushed crappy localization to new limits! Here's a taste from the pre-battle dialog for the 1st Boss in this incredibly hard top-down shooter enjoy!

WTF! This time about about Justice! I'll scream that out the next time I try to get laid.


CHRIS REDFIELD PUNCHES A FREAKING BOULDER INTO LAVA
Resident Evil has always been in "Uncanny Valley". Don't believe me, here's a graph.

With Jill Valentine being the "Master of Unlocking" we have to wonder what Chris Redfield is master of and the answer is PUNCHING BOULDERS!

WTF! Chris Redfield is "THE MASTER OF BEATING THE LIVING SNOT OUTTA BOULDERS!"

SUPER GHOULS AND GHOSTS IS LIKE SEEING DOUBLE!

Capcom's Super Ghouls and Ghosts is one of the hardest most unforgiving games ever made. If anyone is old enough to remember no one would make an attempt at Super Ghouls and Ghosts in Nickelodeon's Nick Arcade. The game featured 8 nightmare educing levels that were designed to kill you over and over again. Just when you think you've made it all the way to the final boss you get a message from the Princess to go all the way back to the first level to find "The Goddess Bracelet" and fight your way back through the 8 hardest levels in video game history to fight the Final Boss for real this time. Below is the clip summarizing the experience.

WTF! What a cheap way to lengthen the game! Whatever, after doing this no one can ever talk smack to you. In anything. Ever. Period.

RAIDEN STOPS A FREAKIN BOAT

Hideo Kojima is famous for giving gamers "WTF" moments. In Metal Gear Solid, Psycho Mantis read your Memory Card for a cheap spook. In Metal Gear Solid 2 we played as ultimate gaming bad-ass Solid Snake for about 10 minutes before getting blindsided by a tranny noob by the name of Raiden. In Metal Gear Solid 3 we had to wad in a river filled with the anguished souls of dead soldiers for about an hour. Metal Gear Solid 4 gave us two "WTF!" moments. One being Raiden suddenly becoming a bad-ass cyborg ninja and number two being this infamous scene . . .

WTF! Issac Newton just crapped himself in his grave. Raiden pawned that Boat!

WHO GAVE HEART OF DARKNESS AN E-RATING?

At first glance Heart of Darkness is a cinematic side-scrolling platform game aimed at children. Anyone want would easily assume that the game is a light-hearted adventure about a boy on a quest to save his dog. However, the game contains extremely brutal death sequences involving a little boy! Still don't believe me then take a look at this . . .

WTF! Whale Rider gets a PG-13 rating for having a bong in one scene and Heart of Darkness gets an E-Rating with multiple scenes of gruesome death scenes involving a little boy.

TOP 5 PLATFORMERS NO ONE HAS EVER PLAYED

Platform game, or platformer, is a video game genre characterized by jumping to and from suspended platforms or over obstacles. It must be possible to control these jumps and to fall from platforms or miss jumps. The most common unifying element to these games is a jump button. The most popular game in the world, Super Mario Bros. is the perfect example of a platformer, but this is the only top five platform game list where you're not gonna see Super Mario Bros. in the top 5.

5. Maximo vs. The Army of Zen
(PS2)

Maximo vs. The Army of Zen is set in the same universe as Capcom's more popular title Ghouls and Ghost. Both games are incredibly hard and unforgiving, but Maximo is set in a 3D world and features a more melee-based combat system. The reason "Army of Zen" is so low on our list is simply because of its incredibly short length.

FUN FACT: Maximo will get down to his boxers similar to Arthur from Ghouls and Ghosts

4. Ristar

(Sega Genesis)

Ristar was released late in the Sega Genesis lifespan, when consumers would rather play fancier games on next-gen consoles that offered 32 and 64 bit processing. Ristar combined the hang time of Princess Peach from Super Mario Bros. II (or Yume Kōjō: Doki Doki Panic if you're a nerd) and the grappling mechanic of Capcom's Bionic Commando to create one of the most fun and overlooked game in the Sega Genesis library. The game is available for the Nintendo Wii Virtual Console and on numerous ROM and Emulator sites.

FUN FACT: Ristar's stretching arm ability is later mimiced in another Sonic Team project, Sonic Unleashed.

3. Klonoa 2: Lunatea's Veil 

(PS2)

The platform game became a dying genre in the 128-bit era of video games. Even games that started off as platformers like Jak and Daxter and Ratchet and Clank began to veer away from their roots with each new iteration of the series. Klonoa 2: Lunatea's Veil is the sequel to the sleeper hit Klonoa: Door to Phantomile. However Klonoa 2, never reached projected sales numbers and the game didn't receive another console iteration until the recently released remake of "Door to Phantomile" in Japan for the Nintendo Wii. Klonoa 2 continues with the use of Klonoa's signature "wind-bullet" to grab enemies to either throw at switches or to use as mid-air leverage to get some extra "umph" in your jump. The game can be found in bargain bins so pick it up and enjoy this platforming gem.

FUN FACT: If sales increase, the series creator has mentioned of making an update. So buy this game now!

2. Goemon's Great Adventure
(N64)

Goemon's Great Adventure is actually a continuation of the obscure blue-haired pipe wielding ninja named Goemon and his misadventures with his rag-tag group of ninjas friends, in fact the franchise is extremely popular in Japan. Goemon's Great Adventure offered non-linear story progression in a side-scrolling 2.5D world with a ton of sub-quests filled with wacky humor. Oh and did we mention that the game features cooperative play with a friend and did we also mention that you can control tag-teaming giant robots! This game has everything, sadly the game is now something of a rarity fetching high prices across internet marketplaces. You can find ROMs for Goemon's Great Adventure on various sites and torrents but the game is best played on the N64 with friends.

Fun Fact: To market Goemon's Great Adventure Konami gave away a $20 rebate for it, Castlevania 64, and Hybrid Heaven

1. Skyblazer 
(SNES)

Starblazer was released in 1994 on the Super Nintendo by Sony Imagesoft. It's widely believed that only six people ever played it and they all fell in love with it. The game featured almost every mechanic that has ever been featured in a platforming game before the jump to 3D, such as our personal favorite platform mechanic, the disappearing platform. Skyblazer  also features the most inventive use of Mode7 graphics which can be seen in the following videos. You can find the ROM for Skyblazer on many different ROM and Emulation websites.
Fun Fact: Record yourself beating the game with one life and we'll give you $50.00

Bayonetta Video Preview

Bayonetta received a perfect 40/40 score from Famitsu! Will it live up to the hype you decide!

The Top 10 Role Playing Games No One Has Ever Played

The sad thing about the Video Game Industry is that if a video game isn't given a multi-million dollar marketing strategy that there is a probability that either the game will end up in the bargain bin or on Ebay and Amazon as a "RARE COLLECTOR'S ITEM". Its sad because these games deserve to be appreciated. This article is devoted to the great role-playing games that no one has ever played. The only top-ten RPG list that won't have Final Fantasy VII or Fallout 3 on the list!

10. CAPCOM X NAMCO 
(PS2)

Capcom x Namco is the first on our list because of the reason why no one played it. It was never released in the United States. Similar to Capcom's "Vs. Series" of 2D fighting games, Capcom x Namco was the crossover everyone wished for and instead of a fighting game . They made a turn-based strategy RPG with 2D fighting elements. If any of this appeals to you and you have a solid understanding of Japanese by all means buy Capcom x Namco for the PS2.

What to remember: The crossover teams of our fan boy dreams!

What to forget: No official U.S. release and the game is too large of an undertaking for a fan sub.

9. FRONT MISSION 3 & 4  
(PSone & PS2)

Here's another oddball on the list. Front Mission 3, published by Squaresoft, was a very accessible turn-based stategy RPG involving giant battle mechs called Wanzers. FM3 was released on the PSone in 1999 and the game included 2 separate 30+ hours campaigns on one disc. Front Mission 4 was released in 2004 and unlike its predecessor was designed for the hardcore Front Mission fan. Poor sales pushed the Front Mission Games into the bargain bin and Square-Enix decided not to release Front Mission 5 to the United States due to poor sales in the region.

What to remember: Deep customization and hard to beat enemy A.I. kept you on your toes!

What to forget: No multiplayer on FM4. Shame.

8. STAR OCEAN 2: SECOND STAR STORY 

(PSone)

Star Ocean 2 was released in 1999 on two discs and on those two discs were over 80 different endings. Not only that but you can teach your character a variety of skills such as painting, cooking, black smithing, and scouting just to name a few. The game featured a robust and fast paced battle system that was customizable to suit your playing style. The first Star Ocean was released very late in the Super Nintendo lifespan too be released in the United States and with the release of Star Ocean 3: Till the End of Time the series fell in mediocrity.

What to remember: 80 different endings and "Personal Actions" kept the game fun outside of the fast paced battles.

What to forget: The bad translations and mediocre story-telling you would commonly find in Saturday morning anime are also commonly found in this game.

7. SKIES OF ARCADIA  
(Dreamcast)

Skies of Arcadia was re-released on the Gamecube with some added features but it too faced poor sales as the game was already five years old when released on the Gamecube. Skies of Arcadia was a Sky-Pirate simulator and featured the ability to maintain and level up your crew and airship. Many games such as the Final Fantasy series would give you an Airship as a mode of transport in the later stages of the game. Skies of Arcadia gave you an Airship of your own from the get-go and the Airship Battles were innovative for the time. This title proved to be Sega's last attempt at making a quality RPG.

What to remember: Airship Battles! Pirates! and Treasure!
What to forget: The frequent random battles would make your Dreamcast scream "Bloody Murder!".

6. PARASITE EVE 2 
(PSone)

The first Parasite Eve delivered a pleasurable yet short-lived Bio-Horror Survival RPG and in 2000 Squaresoft released a sequel with much improved graphics and a smoother battle system. Few RPGs ever delved into Horror Survival and Parasite Eve 2 was a shining example of that exception. Parasite Eve 2 was creepy and fun while offering an intelligent story to boot. A spin-off, 3rd Birthday, was announced for the PSP not too long ago.

What to remember: The Shower FMV and The Burner!

What to forget: No voice-acting, considering the game's short length they could have, they could have included it.

5. GRANDIA II
(Dreamcast)

Grandia II was developed by the now defunct Game Arts Studio and was released in 2000 with much anticipation from the hardcore gamers and fans of Japanese anime. The original game, released on the original Playstation, was known for its quirky collection of mini-games such as the Furniture mini-game. The sequel featured 3D NPCs, a rarity during its release, and a crazy addictive battle system, where you can cancel to actions of enemies or swiftly evade attacks! The game was poorly ported to the Playstation 2 in 2001 and later to the PC by Ubisoft. The game is now available on online video game service Game Tap. 
What to remember: Tactical turn-based battles with an intuitive counter system! The story is very similar to Final Fantasy X. The game also includes many voice actors from Metal Gear Solid and the Real Adventures of Johnny Quest.

What to forget: Anime-inspired visuals, but alas that's what the hardcore gamers were into back then.

4. SHENMUE 
(Dreamcast)

One of the most ambitious games ever developed. The game had a $70 million budget and a development period of 7 years! The game was originally to be released on the doomed Sega Saturn platform, but the long development time pushed the title to be released on Sega Dreamcast. The game featured a photo realistic setting with many objects to interact with. Some critics cite that the game was slow paced while others found the game to be a stroke of genius. Shenmue was supposed to be part of a larger trilogy and a sequel was released for the Dreamcast in Japan in 2000 and it was later ported to the Xbox in 2003. However they both saw poor sales, but Yu Suzuki has been working on a Shenmue MMO, however it doesn't seem to be coming stateside.

What to remember: Forklift Racing and Classic Yu Suzuki games like Harrier built in! 100 man battle was a nice end game treat.

What to forget: "Do you know where I can find some sailors?" - Ryo Hazuki

3. OGRE BATTLE: LET US CLING TOGETHER

(PSone and SNES)

Ogre Battle Tactics was originally released on the SNES and it was later ported to the Playstation. Ogre Battle Tactics was the precursor to critically acclaimed best-seller Final Fantasy Tactics, in fact the game was designed by the same creator, Yasumi Matsuno. The Japanese gaming magazine, Fatmitsu, listed Ogre Battle: Let Us Cling Together as #7 on their 100 Greatest Games of All Time List. The game now fetches $80 - $300 for used and new copies due to its rarity and rabid fan following.

What to remember: A pure strategy tactical RPG with a deep engrossing story and addictive gameplay! No wonder this game is a masterpiece!
What to forget: Price-gouging on online marketplaces prevent many people from playing this gem.

2. PLANESCAPE TORMENT
(PC)

Bioware, the company that brought us Baulder's Gate, Knights of the Old Republic, and Mass Effect, and Black Isle Studio, the company that brought us Icewind Dale and Fallout 1 & 2, made this gem in 1999. It used the Infinity Engine and was set in the Dungeons and Dragons Planescape Universe. Unlike it's contemporaries Torment was story-driven and featured less prominence on combat. Anything can be solved with the game's deep dialog system. One of the most original Role Playing Games of all time never reached a wide audience.

What to remember: Playing as an immortal undead zombie was awesome!
What to forget: Necrophilia is rampant within the game's universe.

DRUM ROLL PLEASE
Please Read before going any further . . .

The late 90's was the hay day for Japanese Console Role Playing Games thanks to the major success of the Final Fantasy franchise, particularly Final Fantasy VII. Squaresoft became a quality producing Japanese role-playing developer with successful titles such as Chrono Trigger and Kingdom Hearts, but not everything the company went gold! Mild successes such as Xenogears, Legend of Mana, and Front Mission fell the wayside but one title produced by Squaresoft received much critical acclaim including Famitsu's almost impossible to attain score of 40/40! That game was . . .

VAGRANT STORY
(PSone)

Produced by Yasumi Matsuno, the creator of Ogre Battle Series, Final Fantasy Tactics, and Final Fantasy XII (another 40/40 game from Famitsu!), Vagrant Story followed the story of Ashley Riot a special agent of the crown. Set in the Ivalice universe, which was also created by Matsuno, Vagrant Story weaved an espionage drama into one of the deepest most addictive role-playing game on any console. The game didn't feature any NPCs other than enemies and has a deeply customizable weapon building system. Vagrant proved that the aging Playstation hardware could still produce quality graphics and sound amidst next generation hardware such as the Sega Dreamcast and Sony's own Playstation 2. Vagrant Story was the greatest role-playing game no one has ever played.

HONORABLE MENTIONS IN 25 WORDS OR LESS!

Xenogears 

Philosophy Giant Robots and Kung Fu with Anime FMVs produced by I.G. Productions

Zone of the Enders 2

Hideo Kojima and Giant Robots! Somehow I'm not surprised.

Chrono Cross

It just wasn't as good as Chrono Trigger!

Brave Fencher Musashi

Samurai RPG how can that go wrong?

Tales of Phantasia
Way too many random encounters kept it from the list
King's Field
Hopefully Demon's Souls will bring the franchise back
Lunar 2: Second Star Story
Old school JRPG
Ys
A rouge like game that help define the JRPG stereotypes
Persona 2
Includes a "Rumor System", which has since been absent in P3 & P4
Evolution 1 & 2
Dungeon Crawler on the Dreamcast
Fallout 1 & 2
When people picked up Fallout 3 did they ask the question "Where can I play Fallout 1 & 2?", sadly the answer is "no".
Saga Frontier 1 & 2

Non-linear gameplay structure at its finest!
Unlimited Saga
A game board driven RPG that didn't use Polygons or Sprites!
Shenmue II
It was a departure from the first one, and thus not as good

Dragon Origins FEED